Motivation...

I know, I know. I totally abandoned my blog. The one that I worked up all the courage to start and already given up. There's really no excuses, y'know, cause life happens.  I've just been "Debby Downer" for the past couple of weeks. Per last post, "Life is a Mess", I went to the gym and was sort of excited. Well let's just say that it didn't go to well. I got on the scale...:-( I knew that it was going to be bad but not this bad. I even thought maybe I was reading the numbers wrong or maybe...This could not be correct. 270LBS!!! Are u fucking kidding me? This was more than I weighed when I was pregnant!!! I was so disappointed with my self and the fact that I did it to myself. It has nothing to do with stress levels or the fact that I had a baby last year. None of that. I was weakened by my inconsideration of my health. The audacity of me to complain about fitting in a pair of jeans or wearing a bikini! REALLY!. It's so past that at this point. Well needless to stay, the realization of this took me on a not so happy mode.

With all this new knowledge and how disgusted I feel about where I am right now. I am still finding it very hard to ignite that fire for me to start taking the steps that I need to be successful in this journey of weight loss. I am not on mission to be a size 0, but I am a firm believer of self/body acceptance. I am not there yet. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very confident in myself and I love me but let just say that it's time to make some new renovations! :-) 

Here's a list of what is motivating me to lose weight.

1. My son, Jeremiah. My son was born 16 weeks early and weighed 1.7oz. He was in the hospital for nearly 4 months He fought for his life so that he can bring joy to mine. I have this amazing miracle child that I care and adore more than ANYTHING. This kid, at 14mths old, is probably the strongest person I know.  As a parent I need to be there for him. I need to run, hop, and skip for him. I want to be able to go to the ends of the earth with him. I love this kid!
2. My health. Simple as that! I want to be healthy. Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired! 
3. My relationships. (This is for the hubby) 
4. Self-gratification.Girl gotta look good! (LOL) But really being able to look like how I feel.

"Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try." UNKNOWN